image001What’s with this computer?  I have to have an iMemory bank to remember all the notices it is giving me. Forget the iPhone, iPad, tablets, smart phones.  Hey, I need a smart phone to figure out this PC sitting on my desk.  I think that the PC stands for Pretty Complicated.

  Well I got this notice that said my “Virtual Memory” was low.  Now how the heck can it tell my age?  It must be a spy among other things.  I searched all over to see if someone had installed a secret collector of brain information to tell me my virtual memory was low.

   I didn’t need a dratted computer to tell me that!  Do they realize how many things an old brain has to absorb these days with all the gadgets?

   I went to the local phone company to ask about an iPhone as my grandchildren said I needed to have one.

   Whatever happened to simplicity folks? I didn’t think it was smart at all.  It took me to feed it things first and then it screwed up the answers.  If the dang thing is so smart, how come it can’t figure out what it is I am after…specially since my virtual memory is low.

   There’s this button to push (texting) supposedly to talk to my children and grandchildren…but then messages are whizzing faster than my poor memory can remember who and what came in.  I found myself typing on that teeny, microscopic keyboard thing they provide and messages are flooding in as I type.  Why don’t they have a ‘wait till the old lady answers one of them’ message that automatically goes out to the sender of those jet-propelled incoming messages?

   How do they come in so fast?  They are flying through the ethers faster than my low virtual memory tells my fingers to move.  I have to think first of what I am going to say and when I do and poise my fingers to reply, in comes another alert with names of senders flashing before my eyes. It is quite distracting for an old person to try to keep up with everything.

   No wonder I have low virtual memory. I want to see everything and my eyes are like spinning tops trying to take the entire scene in. It’s just too much and so frustrating.

   Whatever happened to hearing the ring of a phone and saying ‘hello’ one caller at a time?  And you had to spend an hour or so on the phone to get all you wanted to get out before you said goodbye.

   Now it’s said in a matter of a few key strokes.  Hi.  How are U? CU tomorrow at 12. B there. Bfn  xo

  Seems simple enough but when you have low virtual memory, how the heck can you remember where ‘B there’ is? Can’t remember a thing about whatever it is, so there I am typing my answer as best I can.  Hi U.  RU nuts?  What is a B12?  Is that a drink or something?

   Back comes a message with more craziness.  U’re VM is acting up again. LOL

   I give up…but I notice that it was signed lol –  lots of love? I think I’ll take my ’low virtual memory’ and try to find my way to the wine cabinet.  Might help me cope, but will it make my virtual even lower? Ms. Klara