If your birthday is this month. Whenever possible, meet people in a relaxing setting. After a few drinks, they won’t know the difference between another of your hair-brained ideas or the ones you try to pass off on them, that you call innovative.

ARIES – Mar.21-APR.19
If you can remain objective when dealing with squabbling relatives, you can clean up big time. You can get all the booty before they can figure out it was you who started all the squabbling in the first place.

TAURUS – Apr.20-May20
Focus your attention on recent financial developments. Those funny cheques you sent out recently are bound to come bouncing back to you at an alarming rate.

GEMINI – May 21-June20
Higher-ups are appraising your work. Remember you are fit to shine their shoes.

CANCER – June 21-July 22
If caught in the crossfire, don’t take sides, maintain an independent stance. At the right angle, it will go right through the hole between your ears.

LEO – July 23-Aug.22
A generous host, you wish that guests would reciprocate. Will you ever get the hint. You still haven’t fixed your friend’s broken window from your last spoiled outburst.

VIRGO – Aug.23-Sept.22
A hobby may have commercial potential. I am sure if you carefully wrap your couch potato in saran wrap and put him/her out on the lawn people would flock to your door just to purchase it for a matched set.

LIBRA – Sept. 23-Oct.22
Rise above your critical nature. Everyone has shortcomings. Be kind. Not everyone has the nerve to expose themselves like you do.

SCORPIO – Oct 23-Nov.21
Avoid throwing your weight around at a place of employment. Simply walking it there on your own two calloused, pigeon-toed feet will suffice.

SAGITTARIUS – Nov 22-Dec 21
Relationships thrive on honesty and consideration. Maybe that’s why you’re crying alone in your beer. You’ve never given honesty a consideration.

CAPRICORN :Dec.22-Jan.1 9
Analyze past triumphs for clues to their success. You realize there haven’t been many successes, but your triumph would be to try something for once in your life.

AQUARIUS – Jan.20-Feb.18
Do not be afraid to show your sensitive side. Who will notice any way. I promise your friends know the real cranky you and they’ll pass this unusual behavior off as stress

PISCES – Feb.19-Mar.20
Keep your feet on the ground. The last time you decided to jig around the office, everyone noticed those unsightly holes in your socks and discussed sending you off to Dr. Scholl

I hope everyone enjoys a wee laugh…it wasn’t mean to offend, just a spoof.  Take care…keep smiling.